The problem with relationships.

“Could it be that we are so busy working to co-opt the other into the service of our wants, needs, and feelings that we are too distracted to notice all the opportunities to love that every day gives us, and too busy making sure that we are loved to do anything about these opportunities even if we noticed them? Why does this happen? It happens because we have replaced love of God and rest in his care with love of self and the anxiety of “neediness.”…Enough of pointing the finger. Enough of listening to your inner lawyer defend your cause. Enough of carrying around a record of the other person’s wrongs. Enough of judging, criticizing, and blaming. Enough of holding the other to a higher standard than the one you hold for yourself. Enough of complaining, arguing, withdrawing, and manipulating. Enough of the self-righteous standoff that never leads to change. Enough of hurt and acrimony. Enough of painting yourself as the victim and the other person as the criminal. Enough of demanding and entitlement. Enough of threats and guilt. Enough of telling others how good you are and how thankful they should be to live with a person like you. Enough of angry, self-righteous silence. Enough of hyper-vigilantly watching others to see if they are delivering. Enough of riding the roller coaster of their ups and downs. Enough of looking to others to be your personal messiah, satisfying the longings of your heart. Enough. It is time to quit pointing the finger and start confessing your deep and pervasive weakness. Change in your ministry relationships begins with confessing your need.”—Paul Tripp

Dead guys

“How sweet all at once it was for me to be rid of those fruitless joys which I had once feared to lose! You drove them from me, you who are the true, the sovereign joy. You drove them from me and took their place, you who are sweeter than all pleasure, though not to flesh and blood, you who outshine all light, yet are hidden deeper than any secret in our hearts, you who surpass all honour, though not in the eyes of men who see all honour in themselves. O Lord my God, my Light, my Wealth, and my Salvation.” --Augustine

“I wish to devote my mouth and my heart to you; I shall teach the people. I myself will learn and ponder diligently upon You Word. Use me as Your instrument – but do not forsake me, for if ever I should be on my own, I would easily wreck it all.” --Luther

“O to behold the glory of Christ...Herein would I live; herein would I die; herein would I dwell in my thoughts and affections..until all things below become unto me a dead and deformed thing, no way suitable for affectionate embraces.” --Owen

the promises of Christ

As Christians we are constantly being called and calling others to "believe the promises of Christ". I fear that for the past eight years I have been simply nodding my head in agreeance to this idea. I admit I have not known what "the promises of Christ" meant, nor had I given it much thought. I am in my ninth year of getting to seek Jesus for all that I need and want, my fifth, soon to be sixth, year of ministry at Pickerington North, and my second year of marriage. It is here that I have found myself more sinful than I could ever imagine. Every day I wake up finding myself less capable of being good on my own, and therefore, I have a greater need for the gospel of grace and the blood of Jesus Christ everyday. It is this that has led me to the promises of Christ, and this week, I finally understand. 
Why are the promises of Christ essential to be believed and remembered dear Christian? Because the promises of Christ are things that we have freely gained by God's purposes through Jesus, by no merit of our own. They are essential because as I continue to walk the narrow path I am confronted with my fleshly failings that tempt me to believe I am not capable of change, or maybe worse, I am not chosen. They are essential because I am constantly tempted to believe that my salvation must still be earned and worked for. They are essential because when God is gracious enough with me, to allow me to see myself clearly, in all my schemes and wickedness, I know that the completed promises of Christ are my only shot at life. Because of these things I had the great joy to read Scripture in a new way this week. Not looking for a call to strive after righteousness, though I still need and believe this call, but rather seeking diligently the places where Christ says that his work has already purchased something for me. I have nothing to add to these promises, even the faith to believe them has been given freely. The work is finished. The promises are mine. What an excellent reality. So here are 40 promises carried out and completed by Christ in the book of Romans.
We have received...

1. grace
2. apostleship
3. the obedience of faith
4. a call to belong to Jesus Christ
5. the righteousness of God
6. justification
7. peace with God
8. access into grace in which we now stand
9. God's love poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit
10. saving from the wrath of God
11. reconciliation to God
12. abundance of grace
13. the free gift of righteousness
14. opportunity to reign in life because of grace and righteousness
15. justification, life and righteousness
16. ability to walk in newness of life
17. unity in a resurrection like Christ's
18. ability to be no longer enslaved to sin
19. ability to live with Christ
20. freedom from sin
21. slavery to righteousness
22. sanctification
23. the free gift of eternal life
24. death to the law
25. ability to bear fruit for God
26. freedom to serve in the new way of the Spirit and not the law
27. freedom from condemnation
28. freedom from the law of sin and death
29. fulfillment for the righteous requirement that was demanded from us
30. ability to walk according to the Spirit
31. life to our mortal bodies through the Spirit that dwells in us
32. the Spirit of adoption as sons
33. ability to become children of God
34. ability to become heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ
35. predestination to be conformed to the image of his Son
36. a predestination that has called, justified and glorified us
37. a promise that he will graciously give us all things
38. assurance that we are more than conquerors of the things that befall us through him who loved us
39. righteousness
40. assurance that Satan will be crushed under our feet

Nothing to add, nothing to earn. Enjoy believing them dear Christian!

God is good.

"God is good in every possible way. He is good in righteousness. He is good in power. He is good in grace. He is good in his faithfulness. He is good in mercy. He is good in holiness. He is good in justice. He is good in his rule. All his words are good and true. All his actions are good and right. When he is angry, he is good. When he preserves life, he is good. When he takes life, he is good. When his words are hard, they are good. When his words are gentle, they are good. His promises are good. His provisions are good. His plan is good. In all of the universe, you can only say this about God: he is good all the time and in every way."--Paul Tripp
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/01/29/lost-the-awe/

got 99 problems but The Counting Crows ain't one.

A long December and there's reason to believe

I could justify myself

I felt so symbolic yesterday but I'm just not coming through

I could have been anyone you see

Mr. Jones wishes he was someone just a little more funky

When everybody loves you, son, that's just about as fucked up as you can be

I put my summers back in a letter

Spinning these days into things that I've lost

You've been fading day to day

And I hide it from the world

That's when I know that I have to get out cause I have been there before

You know the butterfly in reverse here is me

So I throw my hand into the air and it swims in the beams

I wanna be Bob Dylan

And I said, I might, I might, I might

There has to be a change I'm sure

I want to be someone who believes

Well, all monkeys do what they see

It's 4:30 A.M. on a Tuesday

Got no place to go

I wanna touch you for the things I'm losing

But I might go out and watch the moon explode

I'm going down to Hollywood

And I'm scared I might not make it home

She is sleeping far away

In a house where regret is a carousel ride

Little angels hang above my head and read me like an open book

Taffy stuck, tongue tied

Well I’m stuck so tight weighed by the chains that keep me

Help me believe in anything

Well I know I don't know you and you're probably not what you seem

Your reflection approaches and recedes again

All I really know is I wanna know

And all I really know is I don't wanna know

Come on give me your white skin

Hey monkey, when can we begin?

Could you tell me the things you remember about me

Try to remember so you don't fade away

The price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings

And I'm in trouble for the things I need

I am a child of fire I am a lion I have desires

We all want something beautiful

And there are people who will say they knew me so well

They're gonna make a movie

Of all the stupid things I do

From the things that they find crawling round my brain

All my sins and someone stole my shoes

It doesn't get much worse than this

Fix your hair just right

Cause I fear I might lose my composure without warning

And it spins away like dust on pearls

Into the fog where no one notices the contrast of white on white

She says it's only in my head

But I’ve got four more seasons for all that’s broken to mend

All I want is something fine

And if you think that I could be forgiven, I wish you would

Forty thousand times

Cause I can never get enough, never get enough

And it gets harder every time

Never get enough no, no

I'd like to see your eyes open up real wide

And if I could give all my love to you

The minute that you see me

So that you could believe me

Deliver me in a black-winged bird

When all a love needs is to be believed in

I have waited for tomorrow from December 'til today

We could probably fix it if we clean it up all day

So come, now

If you wanted to be free

Leave your damage behind and gone

Roll a new life over

seventy-three.

This blog has been far from impressive and I have been neglectful through many seasons. Thoughts and events have gone untold many of them never to be remembered or discussed again. Regardless of this, it has been five years. Seventy-two posts in five years, stories of adventures and memories made, but mostly just the outpouring of my heart in relation to the Lord. It's not a lot but I am thankful for what it has been.

Reading through old posts about idolatry and struggle, I am thankful. The Lord has healed and brought me out of many dark places by his strong and glorious hand. I have new struggles now and my heart still longs to make gods out of perishing things but the Lord has been victorious and will continue to be. Seventy-two posts that remind me that my God is faithful, he moves and is name is great to be praised. This blog has been far from impressive but it has shown me glimpses of the consuming impressiveness of my Father. That's pretty valuable.

the great shepherd

All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth. [Isaiah 53:6-7]

For the household gods utter nonsense, and the diviners see lies; they tell false dreams and give empty consolation. Therefore the people wander like sheep; they are afflicted for lack of a shepherd. [Zechariah 10:2]

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. [Matthew 9:36]

The word of the LORD came to me: "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy, and say to them, even to the shepherds, Thus says the Lord GOD: Ah, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fat ones, but you do not feed the sheep. The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them. So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd, and they became food for all the wild beasts. My sheep were scattered; they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. My sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them.

"Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD: As I live, declares the Lord GOD, surely because my sheep have become a prey, and my sheep have become food for all the wild beasts, since there was no shepherd, and because my shepherds have not searched for my sheep, but the shepherds have fed themselves, and have not fed my sheep, therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD: Thus says the Lord GOD, Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will require my sheep at their hand and put a stop to their feeding the sheep. No longer shall the shepherds feed themselves. I will rescue my sheep from their mouths, that they may not be food for them.

"For thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I, I myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out. As a shepherd seeks out his flock when he is among his sheep that have been scattered, so will I seek out my sheep, and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness. And I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries, and will bring them into their own land. And I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, by the ravines, and in all the inhabited places of the country. I will feed them with good pasture, and on the mountain heights of Israel shall be their grazing land. There they shall lie down in good grazing land, and on rich pasture they shall feed on the mountains of Israel. I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord GOD. I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice.

"As for you, my flock, thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I judge between sheep and sheep, between rams and male goats. Is it not enough for you to feed on the good pasture, that you must tread down with your feet the rest of your pasture; and to drink of clear water, that you must muddy the rest of the water with your feet? And must my sheep eat what you have trodden with your feet, and drink what you have muddied with your feet?

"Therefore, thus says the Lord GOD to them: Behold, I, I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep. Because you push with side and shoulder, and thrust at all the weak with your horns, till you have scattered them abroad, I will rescue my flock; they shall no longer be a prey. And I will judge between sheep and sheep. And I will set up over them one shepherd, my servant David, and he shall feed them: he shall feed them and be their shepherd. And I, the LORD, will be their God, and my servant David shall be prince among them. I am the LORD; I have spoken.

"I will make with them a covenant of peace and banish wild beasts from the land, so that they may dwell securely in the wilderness and sleep in the woods.And I will make them and the places all around my hill a blessing, and I will send down the showers in their season; they shall be showers of blessing. And the trees of the field shall yield their fruit, and the earth shall yield its increase, and they shall be secure in their land. And they shall know that I am the LORD, when I break the bars of their yoke, and deliver them from the hand of those who enslaved them. They shall no more be a prey to the nations, nor shall the beasts of the land devour them. They shall dwell securely, and none shall make them afraid. And I will provide for them renowned plantations so that they shall no more be consumed with hunger in the land, and no longer suffer the reproach of the nations. And they shall know that I am the LORD their God with them, and that they, the house of Israel, are my people, declares the Lord GOD. And you are my sheep, human sheep of my pasture, and I am your God, declares the Lord GOD." [Ezekiel 34]

And they asked him, "Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?"— so that they might accuse him. He said to them, "Which one of you who has a sheep, if it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will not take hold of it and lift it out? Of how much more value is a man than a sheep! So it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath." [Matthew 12:10-12]

How the beasts groan! The herds of cattle are perplexed because there is no pasture for them; even the flocks of sheep suffer. To you, O LORD, I call. For fire has devoured the pastures of the wilderness, and flame has burned all the trees of the field. Even the beasts of the field pant for you because the water brooks are dried up, and fire has devoured the pastures of the wilderness. [Joel 1:18-20]

I will surely assemble all of you, O Jacob; I will gather the remnant of Israel;
I will set them together like sheep in a fold, like a flock in its pasture, a noisy multitude of men. He who opens the breach goes up before them; they break through and pass the gate, going out by it. Their king passes on before them, the LORD at their head. [Micah 2:12-13]

So he told them this parable: "What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.' Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. [Luke 15:3-7]

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber. But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers." This figure of speech Jesus used with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them.

So Jesus again said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father." [John 10:1-18}

He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young. [Isaiah 40:11]

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. [Hebrews 13:20-21]

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. [Psalm 23:1-3]

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. [1Peter 2:24-25]