Thursday, May 14, 2009


it's 3:30am and i'm sitting in the biggs' living room. i can't sleep because i jacked myself up on a pot of coffee not that long ago. i am in the process of filling my head with worthless human nutrition information. things that i don't believe are real, but will inevitably memorize for my midterm. i can't study anymore. these midterms make me nervous because i don't feel like we have learned anything, so i'm sitting at my computer staring at worthless powerpoints thinking, what could possibly be on this test?

breakfast in 2 hours, that will make my stomach ache all the way back to campus...
the end of my third pickerington lacrosse season. i never imagined that this would be the hardest senior class to lose. it is.
getting through the next three weeks of spanish.
rockbridge leader weekend.
north carolina, saranac, counting crows, freedom, sleeping in, heat...
pursuing holiness. philippians three style.
being friends with meaghan.
weddings. change. new roommates.
everyday feels closer to summer. i can't wait. i can't wait.
...i'm going to order french toast.

Monday, May 4, 2009

broken and contrite

i was thinking yesterday...i wonder who reads this.
i wonder if this is what this space should be for me.
i wonder if this should be lighter.

tonight i realized, i don't want to be funny here. i don't need your comments. i don't care who reads this. i pray that this would be a testament to the cross of Christ that has saved me. i pray that these words would not be in vain, but that they would stir up holy praise toward you and you alone God.

things i have been learning...
1) the Holy Spirit is real. living, active, and powerful. you are the voice of God in my heart.
2) there is nothing worth pursuing besides Christ.
3) the previous statement is hard to be obedient to.
4) when i sin, i sin against God and God alone.
5) i am not cool. i have nothing to offer anyone except Christ.
6) sin must be repented of.
7) satan hates me and is wickedly scheming, that i may believe lies. i must know my own gospel.
8) God changes hearts, not me.
9) i must not create castles of sand. the things i have layed up for myself will rust, spoil, and fade. they are defiled and will most likely wage war against my soul, whether sinful or morally neutral.
10) the Son of Man is coming at a time we do not expect, and as his faithful servants, we must be waiting and ready for him. that when he returns we shall not find ourselves asleep or doing evil.