i found this entry in my journal. it was written february tenth 2007. a period of time in my life where everything was unclear. the feeling of waking up everyday and realizing you don't know how to ride your bike anymore and you have to learn again, from the beginning, everyday.
freedom itself has been an entirely suffocated idea that perplexes and strangles my mind. i'm starting to wonder it liberation looks less like abandoned fields of corn and snow angels in the park and more like eleventh avenue. the thought of becoming has entirely stifled the actual act. stationary in my thoughts is where i am, where i will be until i can perceive the gospel. when the gospel runs through my veins, is my breath, my food. when the grace and redeeming love are shattering in my soul, it is there that i will feel the sunlight of the field and the sweet sweet taste of decembers flakes. 2/10/07