remember.

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

I read this today. I have been thinking about the grace of God a lot recently, how I am so sinful but that the Father loves me so dearly that he lavishes grace on me, constant grace. That in this grace I can see Him and strive to know Him, but in this grace I can stand in my sin and know that I am not defeated. I can plead what Christ has done. I am learning that my weakness glorifies him more than my attempt to be perfect. Weakness hurts but recently I have found freedom in being able to be weak.
I have been thinking a lot about the cross as a sufficient payment for my sins, now and forever. I have been thinking about the depth of the resurrection. How Christ says that now everything is different. Life through him is different because of the resurrection. He promises that it is now undefiled can't be tainted because of the resurrection. He is the first fruit. His perfect being is now a picture of what the rest of the harvest will look like, because of the resurrection.

I was thinking about this verse in Ephesians five and knowing that I need to remember. That I would walk in love because I remember.
Remember that I am a sinner in desperate need of grace.
Remember the feeling of emptiness and pain.
Remember crying so hard that I couldn't breath.
Remember what it felt like to fill myself with other people and finding that they let me down.
Remember the cross that saved me and brings me much needed redemption daily.
Remember new life promised by the resurrection.
I need to remember these things, remember that Christ died as a sacrifice to God and that his offering, it was fragrant. I need to remember.

This winter, this holiday, this day, I want to remember these things.

december.

december first.
Today is a good day and marks the beginning of the winter for me. Cold air and Merry Christmases. I am excited about where ever I am right now. In between. In between all things certain and clinging to the hope that you are good and that you love me so faithfully. I am ready for this season. This morning I received my first frost covered windsheild. I am excited to enjoy being able to see my breath, enjoy being with my friends and the people I love, enjoy praying for the souls of my friends as we grow and change. I am excited to see your face and be thankful. Thankful for pumpkin pie, because you made it, and it's so good.